Reflections of Day One
Well, it's been years I suppose that I've been campaigning for Mayor of Affton, but it's a different story now that I'm actually running. For the moment I am running unopposed. While I relish the thought of a victory, it hardly is the best representation of a democracy. This is, in large part, the problem with Affton and the surrounding areas. Not one person from John Goodman's side of town can run for Mayor? Running unopposed has emboldened me and I vow to carry on my campaign with vigor.
To wit...Listen up Wilbur Park and St. George: If I were you, I'd consider myself lucky to be included in the Affton area. That said, you should consider getting your crap together and representing yourselves. If I am successful in my mayoral campaign, and you continue on this road of apathy, I will smack you so far down the census tracts that Lemay will look good to you!
While we're on it, we all know that Shrewsbury thinks it's part of Webster Groves but it surely is not. In fact, as shown below, Shrewsbury is largely in the Affton school district!
Step up Shrewsbury! Webster is busy improving itself and what have you done? You can't even fix the traffic and parking disaster on Weil Ave.! (For the love of god, make those people park on ONE SIDE of the street!)
Anyway, this looks to be a great campaign. I look forward to many events and issues to address on the campaign trail. I am pleased to be able to share it all with you. As for you, Shrewsbury, you better watch your ass!
posted by Mayor of Affton @ 9:13 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
As a former resident of Shrewsbury, I have to admit that I am concerned. ...But not surprised. Leave it to a resident and mayoral candidate (lower case intended) of Affton, MO to use the word "ass" while referring to our fair city of Shrewsbury, MO 63119. Sure, you might use neat little maps in an attempt to rip us apart, but you have discounted the ingenuity of our people. All those living in the Affton District simply "borrow" the addresses of those in the Webster District. It is America at its best....segregating while coming together. So you can keep your snot-nosed punk kids in the Affton School district...we will be enjoying our deliciously insightful 1 act plays and excellent basketball program, while you're town struggles to keep the McDonald's drive-thru moving at a quicker pace. While we enjoy the Webster/Kirkwood Turkeyday festivities, Affton will remain thankful that its age-old utility lines barely keep the heat on.
Sh%t runs downhill, Mr Mayoral Candidate...and Shrewsbury is just a little bit higher than you.
Ah yes! Apparently Shrewsbury is also noted for cowardice Mr. or Ms. "Anonymous". It is this cowardice that prevents you from rising up and properly representing yourselves!
If I were you, I would annex the City of Marlborough, begin amassing an army and then unite and declare all out war on Webster Groves. Shrewsbury has been the cancer that hangs on to their side for far too long. Affton would welcome unity with Shrewsbury if you simply started showing some strengths other than the Shop 'n' Save on Watson Road. **NOTE** That would make one heck of an alliance in October when the new Cross County Metrolink opens! Imagine the possibilities!
Also, your facts are incorrect. You seem to imply that Affton is part of the 63119 zip code. Nothing could be further from the truth! Affton is known worldwide as the home of 63123!
I'll give you partial credit on the age-old power lines though. I'll have to make "infrastructure improvement" a priority in my first of many likely terms in office!
As Mayor, will you continue to not get your facts correct before taking action?
I clearly wrote: Shrewsbury, MO 63119
As Affton remains the RICO case capital of Saint Louis County, I remain anonymous in promoting integrity within the office of the Affton Mayor.
What do you mean by this then?
All those living in the Affton District simply "borrow" the addresses of those in the Webster District.
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