Open Letter to Residents of St. George

Dearest Neighbors:

It is with great sadness that I read about your mayor (small "m") and his submission to drugs and kiddie porn. I have quietly been watching this unfold and did not jump to conclusions, but now I'm going to let it rip since You Tube, CNN and High Times are done with you.

Thanks to this guy, your Google search for "St. George in St. Louis County" will forever be marred with this scarlet letter of disdain. Shame on your council for not questioning this man throughly before letting him run for office! While bigger and more respectable leaders have been pot-heads (Clinton comes to mind) child porn absolutely crosses the line.

While the Mayor of Affton may have inhaled before, there is absolutely NO excuse for the exploitation of children except:
1) Using their small hands to get screws or tools dropped into small spaces that Daddy cannot reach during home improvement projects.
2) Using their cuteness to sell things...almost anything.
3) As a cheap labor force in making fashionable clothing overseas.

St. George, I'm writing today to offer you my services as your new Mayor. You need respectable, cutting-edge leadership to turn your image around and that's exactly what the Affton Mayor's office is about. Make the right choice. I await your call.

BTW, Bella Villa, watch your ass. I still haven't forgotten your shenanigans from a year ago!